Johnny Jetpack is a 7 and a half foot tall puppet/dummy attached to a giant water rocket backpack. When launched, he obtains heights of 70-90 feet and speeds of 50+ miles per hour in about one second. He then plummets earthward in a dramatic fashion. This plummet includes a complex system of "parachute for Jetpack", pilot ejection, screams and flailing limbs, and on-board explosion with head detachment. The crowd is then welcomed forward to the safety line to inspect the wreckage.
By: Hellvis
Tuesday, Feb 25th 2003 (11:08am)
By: Hellvis
Sunday, Feb 23rd 2003 (9:58am)
I can't say my kwoon was anything like this - but you don't have to have experienced any hands-on training to know that if there were any like this one, it'd be a hoot! Check it out!
By: Hellvis
Tuesday, Feb 11th 2003 (3:50pm)
With tackiness and disregard for all. MONOBROW.
By: Hellvis
Friday, Jan 24th 2003 (2:53pm)
The stupidity of the customer never ends. To the point of making up their own complaints that no one understands but them.
By: Scott
Saturday, Jan 11th 2003 (12:29pm)
I was looking for maybe something Christmas like, but I found this list of Yo momma so goth jokes instead.
By: faedra
Tuesday, Dec 24th 2002 (5:42am)
Flattery, Indifference, Strife... they can all be found here!
By: Hellvis
Tuesday, Nov 26th 2002 (8:12am)
Party and Position = Australian Labor Party.

Member for Charlestown, Minister for Gaming and Racing, and Minister Assisting the Premier on Hunter Development.

And most importantly, a shitty name!
By: Hellvis
Friday, Nov 15th 2002 (10:04am)
Once again, Appleton's been skimmed and a whole new crop of fucked up floaters have been exposed by citizen Cliff! Check em out.
By: Hellvis
Monday, Nov 4th 2002 (8:58am)
LPC is an infamous series of telephone calls that have been described (by one of its’ participating record companies) as “the most absurd phone pranks on the market”. Judge for yourself.
By: Hellvis
Wednesday, Oct 30th 2002 (8:52am) has a new blip online listing the Top 10 most eligible sack torture receivers that America would like to donate a foot-full of velocity to. Have a look!
By: Hellvis
Monday, Oct 28th 2002 (9:02am)
There's a new cable channel coming up for the gay and lesbian community. Ned has a lot to say about that.
By: Dave
Thursday, Oct 10th 2002 (12:06am)
By: Scott
Saturday, Jul 27th 2002 (12:40pm)
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have
bad news; she has suffered permanent brain injury, and will be mentally 3 years old for the rest of her life."

Harry begins to weep quietly as the doctor continues, "She also lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry begins to sob uncontrollably and the doctor, feeling his pain, chuckles and says, "No dude, I'm just fuckin' with you. She's dead."
By: goofyfish
Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (10:11am)
...because she keeps forgetting to tell it to John Kane:

Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (12:14am)
Why can't Rosie O'Donnel go on a diet while she wears make-up?

Cuz it's impossible to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face!

More inside...
By: Scott
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (9:33am)
(more)   [Comments: 0]
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those spiders doing?" she asked

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked

"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of shit in our garden."
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
This one has gone around in a wav file, so here is the text version. This is a true story, which makes it even funnier!

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

Read More for the whole story...
By: Scott
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
(more)   [Comments: 2]
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
Oh, the fun you can have with a phone! Here is a highly entertaining and informative phone call to the jail about conjugal visits.
By: Dave
Tuesday, May 7th 2002 (12:12am)
I used to have a phone number that was 1 digit off from the number for a K-Mart store, and I had some fun making up outrageous sales and announcing bizarre store hours to misdialing callers... imagine the fun to be had if your phone number is one off from a tech support line!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Apr 16th 2002 (11:15pm)

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