Johnny Jetpack is a 7 and a half foot tall puppet/dummy attached to a giant water rocket backpack. When launched, he obtains heights of 70-90 feet and speeds of 50+ miles per hour in about one second. He then plummets earthward in a dramatic fashion. This plummet includes a complex system of "parachute for Jetpack", pilot ejection, screams and flailing limbs, and on-board explosion with head detachment. The crowd is then welcomed forward to the safety line to inspect the wreckage.
Tuesday, Feb 25th 2003 (11:08am)
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have
bad news; she has suffered permanent brain injury, and will be mentally 3 years old for the rest of her life."
Harry begins to weep quietly as the doctor continues, "She also lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry begins to sob uncontrollably and the doctor, feeling his pain, chuckles and says, "No dude, I'm just fuckin' with you. She's dead."
Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (10:11am)
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those spiders doing?" she asked
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked
"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of shit in our garden."
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
This one has gone around in a wav file, so here is the text version. This is a true story, which makes it even funnier!
On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
Read More for the whole story...
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (12:10am)
(more) [Comments: 2]
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Wednesday, Jun 19th 2002 (12:09am)
I used to have a phone number that was 1 digit off from the number for a K-Mart store, and I had some fun making up outrageous sales and announcing bizarre store hours to misdialing callers... imagine the fun to be had if your phone number is one off from a tech support line!
Tuesday, Apr 16th 2002 (11:15pm)
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